“She’s Just a Slut.”

I come to you with a heavy heart to address the common topic of “slut shaming.”

“Slut shaming,” by definition, is the action or fact of stigmatizing a woman for engaging in behavior judged to be promiscuous or sexually provocative.

Here are some hypothetical examples of slut shaming:

Ex. 1: A woman is walking around her college campus in shorts that expose her butt slightly. She walks past a group of girls and one of them says, “Oh she’s just a slut.” Another says, “Look at what she’s wearing, what a slut.” And another, “She must not have any respect for herself.”

Ex. 2: A woman goes out one night and makes the decision to go home with a man, fully prepared to have sexual relations. The next morning, the woman takes the famous “walk of shame.” Even though she might not be seen by anyone, the woman still may feel a negative stigma around her. She may put her head down as she walks, avoid eye contact, attempt to take cover if she sees anyone she knows, etc.

There are hundreds of other examples, but I’m not writing this to waste time, space, and energy. Hopefully now you have an idea of what slut shaming is.

So let’s get into it.

Because we are flawed human beings, we pass judgment.

And the reverse of that sentence: We pass judgment because we are flawed human beings.

(Can we all just take some time and read through those two sentences again because it is so hypocritical.)

Just because we don’t always vocalize the judgements we wrongfully pass on others doesn’t make it okay. I’m saying that we can also have thoughts of judgment as well. Our words affect people whether speaking behind someone’s back or to their face. And I’ve found that I am greatly troubled by the words coming from mouths around me even if they are not talking about me.

Mindfulness is a key strategy in taming the tongue, and I think we all need a large dose of it.

I’m not on a high horse if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m writing this message to myself too. I am not perfect, and I also fall into the pit of passing judgment on those around me. In high school I found myself condemning the people around me and being hypocritical. My words and actions wounded others deeply, and cased a ripple effect from my mouth & mind to my heart & soul. I’ve got some experience in the hurting and healing business. That’s why I’m writing this.

Let’s get moving.

Here’s what’s important to remember: We do not have the authority to pass judgment.

Romans 2:1-3 “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God’s judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere human being, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment?”

And

James 4:11-12 “11 Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you – who are you to judge your neighbor?”

And

1 John 4:20-21 “20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.”

As Christians, we should not pass judgment. When we place superficial labels on people, we dehumanize them. The greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, strength, and mind. (Luke 10:27) If we fail to love others, then we fail to love the Lord, thus breaking the greatest commandment. That is why love is such a priority, and is key in our faith and relationship with the Father.

As Christians, we should love.                                                                                                                     -because God first loved us-

As Christians, we should forgive.                                                                                                             -because God first forgave us-

Let me wrap things up into a nice basket tied up with a bow so you can carry it off and distribute the little nuggets of gold contained inside.

  1. The popularity of slut shaming is growing in our culture. As Christians, we should challenge culture, not become it.
  2. The words LOVE and FORGIVE are absolutely necessary if you claim to be a Christian because we should reflect the characteristics of Christ. (#2 is probably the most difficult part of being a Christian, at least it is for me. I have to remind myself daily to love and forgive, and I still can’t fully accomplish this task 100% of the time.)
  3. We don’t know what other people are struggling with. Don’t pass judgment on them for the choices they make because it utterly destroys every chance you have to share the truth with them, and we are called to share the truth of Jesus. (Mark 16:15-16)
  4. Look at people through the same lens as God. The lens of unconditional love, mercy, compassion, forgiveness, and grace. So go make an appointment with an optometrist and pick up some Jesus lenses. We could all use some.
  5. BE MINDFUL of your thoughts, actions, and words. Overtime we speak, we have two choices. To help or to hurt. Choose wisely.

I hope this message has challenged you and turned the wheels of thought in your mind. Let us not forget: absorb the message, exude the truth.

With love & inspiration,                                                                                                                      Emily

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